Field Notes on Self-Love vol 2

Annette Malone: On rest, permission and simply being still.

For this edition of Field Notes on Self-Love, I sat down with Annette, an acupuncturist whose work, on the surface, revolves around needles.

But our conversation revealed that an hour spent with her offers something equally important.

Permission.

Permission to stop. To be vulnerable. To let somebody look after you for a moment. And perhaps most importantly, to understand that rest doesn’t always have to be earned.

People find their way to Annette for all sorts of reasons. Some physical, some emotional. Some arrive when acupuncture feels like a last resort, after feeling frustrated or a little lost in the conventional healthcare system.

And then something quite simple happens.

They lie down.

For that hour, at least, her space in East London is where their attention is.

The phone can wait. So can everything else.

As Annette puts it:

“You’ve nowhere to be. You’ve nothing to do. You just have to be still, be quiet and yeah, let the needles do their work.”

For me, this sounds equal parts poetic and reassuring, because most of us are not very practised at doing nothing.

Life tends to reward the opposite. Keep moving. Keep working. Keep pushing through. Finish this. Sort that. Answer the message. Get to the next thing.

Even rest can start to feel like something we have to justify.

Annette sees things differently. One of the main things she hopes people take away from their time with her is that rest doesn’t always need to be earned.

Sometimes you’re allowed to simply stop.

You can stay at home. Cook yourself something nice. Eat it slowly, in the quiet. Take all the time you need.

You don’t need permission.

And maybe this is where self-love and self-care go hand in hand.

Doesn’t self-care start with self-love?

We talked about how looking after yourself can still feel, somehow, a bit selfish. Taking an hour for yourself. Spending money on something that makes you feel better. Saying no. Resting when, technically, you could keep going.

But as Annette pointed out, if you’re in less pain, less stressed and less anxious, chances are you’ll be kinder to the people around you too.

Showing up for yourself isn’t selfish.

Sometimes it’s simply necessary.

There’s another side to stillness, too.

Annette explained that people often arrive in the middle of incredibly stressful times, with big decisions sitting in the back of their mind.

Then, as things slow down and their nervous system begins to settle, those decisions can start to feel clearer. Somehow, things click into place.

Sometimes they come back and tell her they’ve decided to leave a relationship.

Or make a big change.

Or quit their job.

Annette particularly loves that last one.

“I love when people tell me they’re quitting their jobs. I’m like, high five — yes, get out of it.”

Which made me laugh out loud... maybe a little too loud.

Joking aside, I think there's something quite tender here.

And I wonder if this is where self-love and acupuncture meet. At least for me.

Sometimes self-love isn’t about adding more to our lives, or taking something away.

Sometimes it’s about making enough quiet to hear ourselves properly.

Enough space to notice what isn’t working.

Enough trust to be vulnerable.

And enough permission to do something about it.

So maybe, every now and again, the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is also the simplest.

Be still.

Be quiet.

And, for a little while, have absolutely nowhere else to be.

Streetwear inspired by Self-Love. Annette Malone is sporting the "A Calm Place" sweatshirt.